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View Profile CosmicHentai
I aspire to have my own graphic novel series. I work hard to make my art better every year. My favorite bands are Celebrity and The Gathering. I love Ergo Proxy, Death Note, Silent Hill (1-4 specifically), Resident Evil, and Tenchu.

James @CosmicHentai

20, Male

Freelance Artist

USA

Joined on 11/19/18

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It's time to take a break.

Posted by CosmicHentai - 1 month ago


I said I'd be taking a short break but that quickly turned into a hiatus, and also a self-cleansing.

I do this every year, once or twice, where I take negative aspects of my life that I've created myself or people around me have created and get rid of them. It's usually removing myself from toxic situations or people. I've left 2 art groups and deleted my own. My art group was going no where and no one, not even I would not post art there anymore.

The second art group I left because I really wanted to move on, to something fresh, new. There was some negative history there. Members being kicked out, I was kicked twice, for nsfw content because there was a rat somewhere in the group. I suspended from facebook for a couple of days because of it. The second time I and other artists were kicked and reported it was for no reason. And that kept happening til the group got shut down. It's up again but I left it soon after. A lot of the group is nice. Sometimes too nice for my liking. But there were two people that caught me in a bad mood and solidified my intension of leaving. OH I could tell you a story about the second guy. It's nothing unbelievable but damn he pissed me off.

The 3rd group I left was a discord created by an artist I very much enjoy. I had absolutely nothing against said artist and her friends. They're awesome. But since it was kind of a public discord anyone could join, and a few rotten eggs of course made their way in and made my time there feel a little negative, and I've been trying to get rid of that in my life. There was that one guy that had to reply to everything, had to be up everyone's ass, he was active in every sub category of the discord (a lot like the guy that pissed me off from the other group) and made comments that I couldn't tell if he was being a prick or not. It was very hard to tell, especially given my state of mind at the time. Every comment made him sound like a snob. OH and the "vent" chat omg. There's this one guy who is such a fucking cringy attention seeking emo man child, I wanted to punch him in the damn face. He said the CRINGIEST shit. He sounded like a 12 year old writing shitty edgy fan fiction. The entire time I read it, I wanted to tell him to grow the fuck up. Talkin about how his gf came over, and they talked, cuddled, kissed, played videogames, fucked "the usual", and after they talked about how damaged they both were, and they cried and hugged, and how before she left he said he was thinking about committing suicide and they were crying again and its just a bunch of bullshit. That was the tipping point. I was so tempted to reply, but I figured I would get shit for it, even though what he was saying was absolutely retarded, so I removed myself from the group. I didn't want to read stupid shit like that anymore.

ANYWAY. Art. I've decided my style is boring. It's too digital, too clean. Doesn't look natural enough. Colors are dull. It has no flare. I want to have style and I mean STYLE. Right now it's nothing, it's forgetable. I realised it when I noticed I liked my sketchwork more than my linework for my graphic novel
I want something more natural looking. Something with more color, more pow, more grunge, a little bit of edge. But I don't know where to start first. I suppose I should start at the foundation.
For right now I'm taking a break. I'll begin when I have the urge to draw again. It hasn't been present for almost a week, but I'm starting to feel it now. Little by little, day by day, the desire to draw again grows and seeing the artist I follow's art makes it faster. Soon

Also doing stuff with some music and letsplays, nothing special though.


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